Love
Story done the African Way
Our
guide, Thompson, related what happens here in matters of the heart.
When a
man starts to date, his parents do not want to know about any of his
girl friends until he becomes serious with one of them. At that
point, the man approaches his Aunt. (An Aunt can only be the
father's sister. By the way, the mother's sister(s) are considered
his additional mothers. For instance, the Older Mom (sister of his
mother) or the younger Little Mom (sister of his mother). Likewise,
his Uncle is only his Mom's brother(s). His father's brothers are
additional Dads to him.
When
he wants to marry, the man's Aunt and Uncle give him advice as to
approaching his beloved parents and in negotiating her dowry. In
this part of Africa, his bride is worth COWS. For instance, the girl
might be worth 8 cows, but he will try to negotiate her price down to
5 cows. By the way, all men in Africa try to acquire at least one
cow when they are teens. They work hard to afford the cow and once
they acquire it, it stays at his parent's land and hopefully breeds
with bulls and before he knows it, he'll have two or three or more
cows. This is his worth (his savings account) since there are no
banks in the countryside.
The
big day comes and the man and his uncle and his aunt go to the girl's
parents and broker the deal. In our guide's case, he negotiated his
wife for 8 cows. Five cows were given once they consented and other
other 3 were delivered to her parents 5 years after their wedding.
When
the cows are delivered, they are considered married. Typically, they
will have a church wedding sometime later. The bride goes to her new
in-law’s home. She does chores for them and reveres her husband's
parents. In return, they give her small gifts for her new home.
After all this happens, she is free to move into her new husband's
home.
Everyone
in this part of Africa is from a village and they value their
heritage from that village. Even if they move to a big city, they
are expected to bring their children back to the village to learn
about their heritage and experience village life. This occurs at
school breaks or holidays.
Hope
you enjoyed Love African Style!